kadang di tengah malam, aku terbangun. hanya karena aku terbiasa menunggumu di jam-jam itu. otakku lupa, bahwa tak seharusnya aku terjaga dan menunggumu lagi.
Sometimes, when we get too comfortable with our existence as is when we are in relationships, it's easy to forget other important things in our lives or to lose focus on what we really want. And when you reach an end to it, it feels like you lose yourself. It's not always easy to keep moving forward. My previous posts are the evidence. You may read it if you want. But moving forward for me is just about time. I have to do it sooner or I will ruin my own life. Yes, it is that serious. I’ve read multiple articles about how to move on or how to forget someone, and most of it were saying that I shouldn’t rush the process. Let it heal by time. So I did. It’s been a few months since my break-up. I still have sleeping problems and my under eye looks unhealthy. I still have nightmares. I still feel this ache every time I encounter something that makes me remember my old life. I still miss everything. But lately, I realize I don’t feel as broken as before. I can accept new th...
Kau tahu, lagi-lagi malam ini tidurku tak nyenyak. Banyak kali kau sebagai alasan utamanya. Pun kali ini. Detik aku mengetik catatan ini, aku sedang duduk memangku jurnal harianmu. Isinya mimpi-mimpimu yang super itu. Baru saja ku-khatamkan. Walaupun kebanyakan tak bisa kubaca karena tulisanmu yang terlalu artistik. Ada satu halaman yang menohok-ku. Hahaha, bukannya lebay, memang kata-kata yang kau tuliskan disini tajam sekali. Bunyinya begini, "Bismillah, Insyaallah atas izinmu ya Allah, hamba akan menikahi F (sensor) R (sensor) C (sensor) tahun ini, 2018. Insyaallah, amin. Membacanya akan sangat membahagiakan, kalau saja yang tercantum disana namaku. Meskipun nyatanya bukan. Tapi toh, siapapun halal dan sah bermimpi, termasuk kau. Dan apapun itu, termasuk menikahi seseorang yang selalu kau sangkal ketika aku melontarkan pertanyaan, "do you like her?". - Hanin
it eventually gets better without any sort of explanation one day i just realize that i am no longer upset i am no longer mad, hurt, or bothered by the things that once took so much of my energy, my thoughts, my time i know i will find myself in a peaceful place and enjoy that feeling of forgiveness - Hanin
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